DISCLAIMER: This started out as a recount of my day, and then quickly evolved into a recount of my dreams. Now it is equally both.

It all started with a dream.

I’ve been having nightmares lately. Three in the last 5 days or so. I don’t remember ever having actual nightmares before, so this is somewhat disconcerting. I have stress dreams, anxiety dreams, dreams where I’m running from some unseen force, but nothing like what I’ve been dreaming lately. And I never wake up scared or upset in the middle of the night like I have been these last few days. Actually, I never have good dreams, either. At least none that I remember. It’s always either a dreamless sleep or stress dreams.

The first dream was not a huge deal. Just the first time I’ve woken up from a bad dream. It was just someone whom I would want to make a good impression on being kind of mean and maybe a little creeped out by me (with good reason—I would never act the way I did in this dream.)

But the second dream was violent. I’m talking gun fights with head shots and brain matter. I have no idea where this came from since I hadn’t watched anything violent, and definitely not gory in a while. Ironically, I watched Kick Ass later that day.

So the night after this nightmare I prayed for a dreamless sleep, or preferably for good dreams. And I don’t remember them now, but I did wake up having had good dreams. So I kept on praying every night after, even last night.

But last night was the worst. Not the scariest or goriest (considering the previous nightmare), but definitely the one that stuck with me the most. It was a mere moment, really. I was taking care of the kids I nanny and the little girl didn’t want to go to sleep. Then she looked out the window next to the front door and saw something. I moved to look and it was two men dressed all in black with eye masks on. They were doing something to the doorbell, which in retrospect, isn’t all that scary, but I was scared. (Even typing this I’m creeped out and more than a little scared.) Then one of the guys slowly turned and looked at me, didn’t care I was watching (even though I was sure they were breaking in to the house) and then promptly went back to what he was doing. I remembered the two from earlier in my dream when they had come to fix the doorbell. I started to call 911 and wracked my brain to decide what to do. Should I try to get the baby first, or should I just go into the garage and try to escape that way with the girl? Surely they wouldn’t hurt a baby. But I woke up immediately after that.

I was freaked. Like seriously freaked. I had to pee, but I was scared to leave my room. I knew it was crazy, but I was scared this was some sort of warning dream. I listened for movement anywhere in the house and couldn’t hear anything, but I still couldn’t be sure. I told myself that my dad had probably fallen asleep on the couch watching TV like he always does and would have heard someone come in either the front or back since they’re both just off the living room. Eventually I had to suck it up and go to the bathroom. But when I got back to my room I used my cell phone light to scan my room to make sure there wasn’t anyone in there. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn’t. Instead I tweeted about my dream and my friend, who is an insomniac (so therefore awake at 3 AM), talked to me about it a little via twitter and said she was praying for me against spiritual attack. I finally got to sleep over an hour later and set my alarm to the latest I could (5:45, since I had to be at work at 6.) I had even gone to bed at 9 PM so I could get a full night’s sleep and wake up in time to go for a 20 minute walk. That didn’t work out.

So that’s the way the day started, and then it just was all weird from there.

Which brings me to…where did the day go?

I worked from 6-12, then went to my second job, a mere 45 minute project that needed to be done at the office. I didn’t time it, barely checked the clock (at least not in a way that I remembered the time two seconds later), but it usually takes me no more than 45 minutes. Keep in mind, it’s only a 15 minute drive. I went to the bank and the library, barely any time at all really, and then when I was on my way home it was past 2!

When I got home I managed to watch Scoundrels and half of True Blood, with some breaks intermittently for stuff on the computer and such, and then all of the sudden, it’s past 5! Not to mention somewhere in there I had a scare in which I had this sudden and sharp pain in my side that got worse when I breathed. It went away when I finally sat up, but it was really scary.

Later, I have a snack, take a shower, and it’s 6 now. I sit down to write 1500 words, and then suddenly it’s 7:30. Now it’s almost 8 and I have to be in bed by 9 if I want to wake up in time to take my 20 minute walk before work at 6.

The good news is, I only work 6-8 AM (don’t ask) and then I’m free the rest of the day. Let’s just hope I don’t wake up from a nightmare again tonight. I don’t think I can take much more of this.