Me too. I still feel guilty and like people are offended or confused every time I decline an invitation because I just really need some “me” time. I try to remind myself that I have to give myself oxygen before I can help anyone else with theirs.
I used to be like this. Used to show people how much I’d be willing to give before too…
Today, I got called selfish. Because I’m now unwilling to give everyone everything without also remembering I can’t neglect myself. But deep down I think I am still this person…willing to do whatever for someone else’s happiness. No matter that it tears me apart inside.
See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? … He couldn’t do it last night because he was too busy talking his best friend out of suicide. See that girl, with her face caked in make up? … She’s bullied, she needs to feel beautiful. See him, the one who wears long sleeves everyday? … He covers his arms to hide the scars. See her, with the cheap, hand-me-down clothes? … Her family can’t afford food for half the month, let alone get brand names. See the girl who laughs and smiles at every little thing? … She cries herself to sleep every night. Wonder why she never lets her friends over her house? … Because she’s afraid they’ll see her dad passed out drunk on the floor, as always. See how that girl cringes at rape jokes? … She was raped. See the boy who everyone goes to for advice? … He wishes someone would do the same for him. See the girl who never brings a lunch? … She’s disgusted by her body. See her, with the little waist? … She goes to the bathroom and forces herself to throw up so that she can keep her waist that way. See the boy over there, see the dark circles under his eyes? … He has insomnia, he fears what he’ll see in his dreams. See that girl daydreaming over there? … She has schizophrenia. See the boy biting his nails? … He has cancer and he’s wondering how much time he has left. See your best friend? … She’s addicted to drugs, but she can’t tell you because you wont understand. See that boy reading all about 9/11? … His parents died on that day. See her, with her phone on her at all times? … She’s waiting for a call saying her sister was found after a kidnapping 4 years ago. Don’t judge.
A landcomm for all things TV. With 3 different teams: Chiller (Crime & Thriller), Dramedy (Comedy/Drama) & Supernatural (Sci-Fi & Fantasy). It doesn’t matter what team you’re on, you’ll get to work with any tv show you heart desires! [ Apply Here ]
So I’m a Team Gothic co-mod over at Land of Art…
Land of Art is a ‘land comm’ created solely for graphic artists. It doesn’t matter if you only make icons, or only picspams, wallpapers, whatever! There are challenges for one and all types if artists! The competition is made up of 3 teams; Team Gothic, Team Pop Art & Team Renaissance. These names are just for the sake of having teams and do NOT reflect the type of graphics you have to make! Plus, you can do any kind of graphics here (celebs, stock, fandom, etc) as long as it fits the challenge. JOIN TODAY!
Everyone! If you have been voting for Supernatural at Hulu’s Best In Show contest and have not been logged in, your vote has NOT been being counted! You MUST be logged in to your account for the votes to count. If you don’t have an account, you can register for free! Not in the US? Then register…
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
I sent him an email saying “Jim Beaver, Julie McNiven, Mark Sheppard, and Misha Collins will be attending Dragon Con.”
He sent me back the following:
This is a quality husband, y/y?
Yep! I joined up! Not like I’m not crazy busy enough as it is running 4 comms, participating in 4 Last Author Standing Challenges, writing something like 10 fics on top of that, plus my schoolwork, actual work, and my own writing.
But it’s fun and not too demanding (something like 3 challenges per week—one writing, one graphics, and one…another kind of graphics? I forget.)